It's Time to Reframe How We Talk About Mental Health. By Dennis Law

We live in a world where the way we talk about emotional and psychological struggles matters more than ever. And yet, terms like “poor mental health” often used by healthcare systems like the NHS still carry a stigma that can isolate, marginalise, and dehumanise those who are simply going through a difficult time. But what if we changed the language? What if, instead of mental illness, we talked about emotional health?

Why Language Matters

Words shape our understanding of ourselves and each other. The label “mental health issues” can make it seem as though someone is broken, different, or deficient. It reinforces an invisible wall between “those who are well” and “those who are not.” But in reality, emotional challenges are something we all experience. We all feel. We all hurt. We all struggle to communicate at times. That doesn’t make someone weak or “ill” it makes them human. By shifting toward terms like emotional health, we promote compassion over pathology. We acknowledge the full spectrum of human experience without judgment.

I prefer Emotional Health: A Shared Human Experience

Everyone deals with emotions in their own way through talking, silence, action, reflection, or expression. Struggling to communicate doesn’t mean someone is less capable. It means they might need understanding, not assumptions. Emotional health is a part of everyone’s life. When we treat it as such, we remove the stigma and invite connection.

A Call to Action

It’s time for society and institutions like the NHS to rethink how we talk about emotional well-being. Let’s replace stigmatising labels with language that unites us rather than separates us.

Let’s move from:

Mental illness to Emotional pain

Disorder to Distress

Patient to Person

Let’s create systems of care rooted in humanity, not hierarchy.

Because emotional health belongs to all of us.

Exposure therapy

Is a psychological treatment that helps people confront their fears or distressing thoughts in a safe, controlled way rather than avoiding them. It's most commonly used for anxiety disorders, including:

Phobias

Panic disorder

Social anxiety

(PTSD) Post-traumatic stress disorder

(OCD) Obsessive-compulsive disorder

How It Works

The basic idea behind exposure therapy is that avoiding fear makes it stronger. By gradually and repeatedly facing what you fear in a safe environment your anxiety starts to decrease over time. This process is called habituation.There are different forms of exposure:

In vivo exposure Facing the fear in real life (e.g. if you're afraid of dogs, you might spend time near a calm dog).

Imaginal exposure Vividly imagining a feared situation (often used for trauma-related memories).

Interoceptive exposure Deliberately triggering physical sensations of panic (e.g. dizziness, shortness of breath) to reduce fear of those sensations.

Virtual reality exposure Using VR technology to simulate the feared experience when real-life exposure isn't practical.

What Happens in a Session? A therapist helps you create a fear hierarchy: a list of feared situations, ranked from least to most distressing. Starting with the lower items, you’ll gradually face these fears, staying with the discomfort instead of avoiding it. Over time, your brain learns that the feared outcome doesn’t happen, or that you can handle it reducing your anxiety response.

Does It Work?

Yes for many people, exposure therapy is highly effective, especially when used within Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). It's evidence-based and supported by decades of research.

However, it’s important that it’s done gradually and with support. Rushing or forcing exposure can backfire and increase distress. Exposure therapy should never feel like punishment or coercion. It's done with full consent, and the pace is tailored to each person's readiness and comfort.

Talk Therapy

Talk therapy can be transformative but only when both people involved are open and free of judgment. It’s not about diagnosis. It’s about listening, offering support, and co-creating ways to handle life’s difficulties. Trust is the foundation. Without it, words can be misunderstood, and silence can grow. But with trust, therapy becomes a space of healing and growth, not correction or control. Talk therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all, but it can be a lifeline when built on mutual trust, non-judgment, and openness. It's about co-creating a space where someone can unpack their experiences without fear of being labelled or dismissed. This also calls on practitioners (therapists, counsellors, health professionals) to be trauma-informed, emotionally intelligent, and culturally aware, understanding that every person brings a unique story.

The therapies listed above, I have taken in the past. I would like to state from the start that I still fall back on what I had learnt from these therapies, as information I gained back then is still relevant today!

Exposure therapy

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an intense fear of bees, wasps, or anything that made that distinct buzzing sound as it flew near me. The mere sight or sound of one would send my heart racing and my body into panic. For ten years, I lived with this phobia, carefully avoiding parks, flowers, or even open windows in summer.

Then one day, while riding in a car, a bee flew in through the window. Without thinking, I nearly hurled myself out of the moving vehicle just to get away from it. That moment was my wake-up call. I realized that this fear wasn’t just inconvenient it was dangerous. That’s when I decided to seek help through exposure therapy.

In my therapy sessions, we started by talking about what I felt when a bee or wasp came near me.I recalled childhood memories how my parents used to take me to their allotment every summer. I hated those trips. I was always surrounded by nature, and with it, the constant threat of buzzing insects. Back then, it felt like every flower bed was a trap. I was sure that a sting was always just a second away.

Fear of being stung

As part of the treatment, I was connected to a monitor that tracked my stress and anxiety levels. My challenge was to stay calm, keep the monitor's beeping low, and remain relaxed. Once I achieved that calm, my therapist left the room. A few minutes later, he returned with a flower in his hand. Standing behind me, he gently shook it, and suddenly a bee buzzed loudly, my bleep shot up and I jumped away from him: Learned behaviours. In my case, it seemed I had absorbed this fear from those around me: family members or friends who panicked around bees and wasps. Over time, their fear became my own. But therapy helped me unlearn it.

By the end of the program, I was doing things I never imagined possible. I stood among a bed of flowers, gently trapped a bee in a blossom, and then released it watching it calmly as it flew away. I had taken back control. For the rest of that year, I lived without the crippling fear that had once defined my summers.

Conclusion:
Phobias can feel overwhelming and deeply rooted, but with the right support and therapeutic approach, change is possible. Facing our fears doesn't mean we have to love what once terrified us but it does mean we can learn to live without fear controlling our lives.

Talk Therapy

It wasn’t until I spoke to my GP that I finally began to understand what was really happening to me. I had been feeling increasingly low, and after explaining my situation, they diagnosed me with depression largely triggered by my living environment. I had moved into a block of flats filled with families and young children. The constant noise became overwhelming. At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it quickly turned into something more disruptive. Every time I heard a noise footsteps, kids shouting, things dropping I found myself peering through the peephole in my front door. It started as a simple curiosity. Then it became a compulsion. I couldn’t stop checking. This habit soon took a toll on my emotional health. I became hyper-aware of every sound, constantly alert, waiting for the next disturbance. I was no longer at ease in my own home. That’s when my GP referred me to a talk therapist.

In therapy, we explored why I was reacting so strongly to the noise. Why did I feel compelled to check the peephole every time? What comfort or control was I seeking? As we unpacked it, my therapist pointed out something important: by responding to the noise every time, I was reinforcing my own frustration and anxiety. I was training myself to be on edge. He suggested a simple but powerful strategy next time I heard a noise, I should try to ignore it. Instead of breaking my concentration or interrupting my day, I should continue with whatever I had been doing. By not reacting, I could slowly reduce the anxiety and break the cycle. It didn’t happen overnight, but over time, things began to shift. Eventually, the particularly noisy family moved out, which definitely helped ease the tension. But even now, I still find myself reacting to sounds from above and below: neighbours playing music, talking loudly, or moving furniture. It’s no longer that same compulsive reaction, but the urge to check remains. The difference is that now, I’m more aware of the pattern and more equipped to manage it. I’ve come to accept that in shared living spaces, some level of noise is inevitable. But I also know that how I respond to it can either protect or undermine my peace of mind.

Conclusion:
Sometimes, the things that affect our emotional health aren't dramatic events but small, repeated disruptions that chip away at our well-being. By becoming more aware of how we react to our environment, we can start to reclaim a sense of calm and control. And often, the first step is simply learning to not respond.

My personal Conclusions:

I still have problems to this day. However, the level is lower then it was back then! I still tackle issues with past experiences. I guess I always will. However, I have come to realise that what had transpired in my past was beyond my control.

These days I find that most people in society go along in there own little world with little or no feelings for others that happen to be in their orbit. Society has placed these kind of behaviours as symptoms of Post-Covid! I just call them damn rude.

I get angry, and sometimes come close to exploding, telling them that what they do has an effect on others. I have to bite my tongue ‘cos I know that things could get out of control and end up with some kind of violence.

But still I live in hope that one day perhaps when I’m wiser, I will finally except that we all have our problems, even though we might pretend that all is well!

I want to illustrate what I have learned from my experiences, that we all need to keep talking to family, friends, health workers, and anyone who will listen. Perhaps that's all we really want: a friendly ear, someone who may care, someone who may be able to help.

In the end, it’s worth saying that we all have emotional health issues.

I will be starting CBT therapy in a few months for other related Emotional Health Issues!